"Death is just a new beginning"

Free

I'm free!
Free to do what I want
When I want
Free to be who I am
Who I want to be
No judgment
No labels
No longer afraid
Of what tomorrow will bring
I'm never looking back
Never going back
Because now
I'm Free!

My Smile

Why is life so cruel?
I've never had an easy life but it was a happy one.
Growing up in my family had its difficulties yet we still somehow managed.
I was born a happy child yet my smile became fake along the way.
It all started during Junior High.
Many girls would think having a boyfriend at such a young was cool and awesome.
I thought so too when I got my first boyfriend.
Yet I didn't know that it meant trouble as well.
My smile started to fade then.
He raped me.
I never told anyone about it when it happened.
My parents to this day don't know.
When I was in High School I got my second boyfriend.
I told him about what happened and told him about my status.
Yep that's right I am undocumented.
He didn't care and even when I broke up with him because I was scarred
That my status would be the reason why he would leave.
He wouldn't let me go and I loved him for that.
So I stayed with him and slowly my smile came back.
During my junior year in High School,
I took up a job at a bakery and was sexually harassed by a coworker of mine.
Once again my smile started to fade.
I left the job.
Only my mom knows about this one.
My boyfriend was still with me and helped me to regain my smile back slowly again.
I went to college and graduated.
My boyfriend after 9 years and 4 months of being together dumped me.
My fear came true.
Dumped because of my status.
Isn't that something.
The one person who I thought would NEVER hurt me.
Wounded me the most.
My smile is gone.

I Will Never

I will never be able to escape this darkness.
I will never be able to escape my fears.
I will never be able to escape my demons.
I will never.